Infinitely Effie
by Wemmabby
Summary: It was just a casual outing, or so she thought...


**A/N I wasn't sure whether to put this under M or T. So M just to be safe ;) I also apologize for the random title lol.**

Infinitely Effie

It was just a casual outing, or so she thought.

Effie Trinket was visiting in district twelve, so Peeta and Katniss had invited her over for dinner. She gladly accepted, figuring that she would just stop by for a moment and say hello, then refuse to eat anything, because knowing them the food would be contaminated with goat feces and the ashes of little Primmy.

Upon arriving at their doorstep, she knocked on the door with her perfectly manicured hand and waited for someone to answer.

"MOTHAFUCKAH!" she heard Katniss yell. Then the door swung open, and Katniss instantly turned red. Effie stared at the couple. They were dressed as power rangers, and both smelled of whiskey. Effie scrunched up her nose.

"Oh, um..." said Peeta, blushing. "W-we kinda forgot that you were coming..."

"Uh, it's okay..." said Effie, now also blushing. She really couldn't believe that THIS is what they were doing. _Young married couples these days...__  
_

"So, what have you made for dinner?" Effie asked politely, trying to forget what had just happened.

"Well, Katniss made a pot roast," Peeta told her. "Would you like some?"

"Actually, um, I'd have to say no. I'm not really hungry..."

"Effie?" she heard a familiar voice calling for her from upstairs. Her eyes widened as she watched the one and only Haymitch Geronimo Abernathy walk down the wooden staircase, dressed up as the green power ranger. Effie blushed madly. _So this is what being turned on feels like..._

"Effs!" he yelled, running towards her and wrapping his arms around her, and to his surprise, she hugged him back. Without thinking, she kissed him on the cheek, just making the whole situation even more awkward.

"Uh, OK," Haymitch said comically. "That's good. So, are you staying for dinner?" Effie looked into his eyes and noticed that they bulged out of his face, just like his...uh...never mind.

"Yes, I am," said a now aroused Effie. "I'm definitely staying."

XxX

They were all seated at the dinner table, Peeniss on one side, Hayffie on the other. "Pass the marmalade?" asked Haymitch, winking at Effie. She gave him a smile. Katniss nudged Peeta and they both started giggling.

"What's so funny?" Haymitch questioned.

"Nothing, really. You two are just so cute together!" Katniss revealed. Hayffie started blushing like crazy.

"Aren't we?" Haymitch said, nudging the escort. She didn't say anything. Annoyed, Haymitch gripped her cotton-candy colored wig, pulled it off and tossed it onto the table, revealing her beautiful golden blonde curls.

"Shit!" Effie screeched, her eyes wide. They all began laughing. At first, Effie scowled at her fellow colleague, but giggled soon after.

"You asshole," she said softly, smirking at him. She slapped his arm playfully, realizing that she kind of liked it when Haymitch teased her.

He stood up, and unzipped his green and white power ranger costume, stepping out of it. He sat back down and watched as Effie fixed her hair with her delicate fingers. Although it wasn't much use, because Haymitch slid his hand into her hair and kissed her. Peeta fanned himself with his hand, and Katniss placed her arm around him as they watched the two make out in front of them. Soon, Haymitch had her on the mahogany table, and was undressing her.

"JUST HAVE BABIES ALREADY!" Peeta blurted out in his fangirl voice. "HASHTAG TEAM HAYFFIE!" Katniss took Peeta's hand in hers.

"Come on, Peeta, we'd better go now. I don't really want to watch them fuck." Katniss said, but Peeta just stood next to the table, watching as Haymitch and Effie went all the way. The sounds they were making seemed inhuman.

"Oh," said Peeta. "So THAT'S what porn looks like..."

"Peeta!" Katniss yelled, tugging on his arm. "Let's go!" Finally, she was able to drag him out of the dining room, but she was pretty sure she was already scarred for life.

XxX

"Effie, I am going to make you a cheese pizza," Haymitch said to his naked lover. They lay on the mahogany table unclothed together, Haymitch tenderly caressing her cheek, Effie snuggled up to his bare chest. "And I am going to put an ungodly amount of cheese on that pizza. Then I am going to fuck that pizza. And then you will fuck that pizza...ugh, you know what, forget it. I just love you so much, Effs."

"I love you, too, Haymitch."

"Effie Trinket, you are the X to my Y."

"Mitchy-Mitch, you are the peanut butter to my jelly."

"You're my missing piece," Haymitch said, feeling grateful to have her next to him. She was the love of his life, and despite how annoying she was, he still loved her more than anything.

"To be frank, I don't think I could get by without you."

"Me neither."

Katniss and Peeta stood outside the doorway, silently giggling to themselves, grins plastered on both of their faces.

"I kinda knew that they were in love," Katniss whispered to her husband.

"How?"

"I don't know...I mean, I could just tell that they liked each other."

"Interesting," said Peeta, peeking into the dining room.

Katniss just stood there, smiling happily to herself.

XxX


End file.
